It didn't matter to my mother, bless her heart, if I wanted to be a musician, I should be a policeman. If I wanted to be a teacher, I should be a dentist. If I wanted to be a doctor, I should be a astronaut. What a way to undermine your kid's drive, ambition, and self-confidence.
My father on other hand had a simple, consistent message, "Its not work if you don't get your hands dirty." Those were the two sorts of messages I heard in my family. My wife and I tried to do it differently with our kids:
We've tried to be encouraging of our offspring no matter what their passion. When they wanted musical instruments, they not only got instruments, but lessons. When they were into rugby, we devoted Saturday mornings and sometimes afternoons to that sport. When snakes were in vogue, we had snakes in the house and went to "herp" shows. For that matter, various types of pets were constantly coming in and out of the house.
So why should it be any different when it comes to the kid's careers? First of all, we take the pressure off telling them that they are unlikely to graduate in their first college major let alone find a career in whatever they graduate in. Neither of us ever worked in the field of our college majors.
Up until now we have only one graduated college child and she happens to have gone straight into her chosen field. Maybe precisely because we told her not to stress about it? I don't know, but maybe. Our second kid, our oldest son, started out a psychology major, graduated with an English degree and then right away went back to school for a music business degree.
Another thing we tell them is to follow their hearts instead of chasing the almighty dollar. So far that philosophy has us with one kid earning a great living albeit contract to contract. Unlike many kids who flounder for a period after graduating, she was already was working jobs in her field before graduation.
Even she knows that waiting tables might be unavoidable from time to time in her chosen career. We try to tell our kids that its all right to do something "artistic" or whatever. Just don't ever count on a house in the suburbs or a new car. In other words, we tell them they can do anything they want to do. But we also tell them they can't have it all.
Will our way turn out better than what my parents did? I guess time will tell. But so far, it seems to be working out. Our children seem generally satisfied when it comes to career paths. - 22783
My father on other hand had a simple, consistent message, "Its not work if you don't get your hands dirty." Those were the two sorts of messages I heard in my family. My wife and I tried to do it differently with our kids:
We've tried to be encouraging of our offspring no matter what their passion. When they wanted musical instruments, they not only got instruments, but lessons. When they were into rugby, we devoted Saturday mornings and sometimes afternoons to that sport. When snakes were in vogue, we had snakes in the house and went to "herp" shows. For that matter, various types of pets were constantly coming in and out of the house.
So why should it be any different when it comes to the kid's careers? First of all, we take the pressure off telling them that they are unlikely to graduate in their first college major let alone find a career in whatever they graduate in. Neither of us ever worked in the field of our college majors.
Up until now we have only one graduated college child and she happens to have gone straight into her chosen field. Maybe precisely because we told her not to stress about it? I don't know, but maybe. Our second kid, our oldest son, started out a psychology major, graduated with an English degree and then right away went back to school for a music business degree.
Another thing we tell them is to follow their hearts instead of chasing the almighty dollar. So far that philosophy has us with one kid earning a great living albeit contract to contract. Unlike many kids who flounder for a period after graduating, she was already was working jobs in her field before graduation.
Even she knows that waiting tables might be unavoidable from time to time in her chosen career. We try to tell our kids that its all right to do something "artistic" or whatever. Just don't ever count on a house in the suburbs or a new car. In other words, we tell them they can do anything they want to do. But we also tell them they can't have it all.
Will our way turn out better than what my parents did? I guess time will tell. But so far, it seems to be working out. Our children seem generally satisfied when it comes to career paths. - 22783
About the Author:
Glenn B. Miller is dad to 4 beautiful children and is still working on his first marriage. To find out more about his trials, tribulations, and success stories at Family Life. Go to Ask Glenn to ask Glenn about your particular family life situations or maybe just to share one of your own stories.
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